Answer to the question from earlier: Mayor Quimby’s beer-swilling brother, Clovis.
I Steal Pets Rachel Bloom, of Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury fame, continues climbing the chart of “Women I Want To Want To Marry Me”.
[A photo of Marilyn Monroe]
Sorry this is a paragraph, Just one, kinda long !! ! But look at this CURVY picture . Do you know of who that picture is of ? That’s Marilyn Monroe.she was once the appitamy of beauty. But look, at her, she’s not some skinny size 00 or 1 or 01 she’s got fuckin CURVES , right ? do you reaally need to starve yourself to be pretty or happy or aksepted? No. Utter,...
cracked: Worst Terrorist Video Ever In case you’re wondering what Al Qaeda’s been up to since Osama’s death, they’ve been “trying their hardest”. This is probably our least-viewed video ever so far. I also love it. Maybe the majority of our audience is actually terrorists, and they hate being made fun of.
Cloning dinosaurs to entertain people on a secluded island? Sounds like a...– Jurassic Snark
I bet Blackula has weekly jam sessions with N-Word Cullen.
cracked: After Hours: Why Everyone Wants to Have Sex with Vampires A darker look at the tween motivation behind “Liking Twilight” and “Looking forward to a new Twilight”. New episode of After Hours is up today! Woo! I edited some of it! Woo! TEXT! WOO! All wooing aside, I find the point made at the end of this episode to be particularly sharp. Just like the rest of the series, really, but...
Click this if you haven't sighed yet today. →
Sometimes The Onion is just too good.
New video up on Cracked today is a mash-up of two movies I will never see. My favorite part is the title and my second favorite part is also the title.
They’re never going to make an Owls of Ga’Hoole sequel, are they? This is the worst day ever.
This year, Best Performance By A Corpse goes to Heath Ledger as Thor.
New video up on Cracked today, courtesy of Swaim and myself. If you find all of the hidden jokes, I’ll give you nothing. Sorry.
lulz– Martin Luther King, Jr.
I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the...– Martin Luther King Jr. (via drinkyourjuice)
Based on the celebrity death rule of threes, two...