Dear Doctor Mister Cody, Hypothetically if my dream job was your job, and I didn't want to have to kill you, how would I go about attaining my dreams? I'm assuming being snarky on the internet won't get me places, but I've been wrong. Also, I wasted Thanksgiving day reading this ENTIRE blog.
Hi Sandy (who maybe likes lions and was born in 1988)!
I’m sorry you read my entire blog, but I’m also very thankful that you read my entire blog. Happy Belated Thanksgiving! And again I’m really sorry you read my entire blog. Also don’t kill me.
Speaking of Thanksgiving and dream jobs and not killing me, every Thanksgiving Cracked runs a piece about writing for the site, which anyone can do while not killing me. We have a small staff of editors, but most of our content is generated in our writer’s workshop. Again, anyone can sign up. One of our editors, Kristi Harrison, wrote this year’s Cracked Writers Call and here’s a pretty great sentence from it:
And that’s the story of how an ex-kindergarten teacher slash homeschooling mother slash glamour model became a full-time boner joke writer.
All she did was sign up and start posting in our writer’s workshop and be amazing at it. But that’s just one version of the story; it can be different for everybody. Danny “Brine” O’Brien randomly submitted an essay about the movie Die Hard because he super-liked Die Hard. I posted music videos about Lost in Cracked’s Video forum and eventually Danny himself messaged me to say, “Make stuff for us, but stop making it about Lost.” This page explains all of the different avenues for working for the site, whether it’s with articles, infographics, video concepts, or video production. We also have three weekly Photoshop contests and a monthly sketch-writing contest. There are lots of things and they all come with money! Do it now! Everybody!
But that’s just specifically for Cracked. The internet’s pretty great, so there are practically countless roads you could take. Cracked is just the one I know really well. Other than that, I can only say that if your dream job is writing or creating for a living, then you should write or create all the time or at least every day. That will never not be good.
This is the truest answer I can give. I hope it helps, and thanks again for reading my entire blog.
This quote was in my drafts folder from long ago and I’ve been staring at it for maybe too long, because why did I type this? But I just remembered that a couple months ago there was some movie about caves and in the trailer for it someone literally said the line “What could possibly go wrong diving in caves?” That’s an exact quote. I don’t remember what the movie is, and I apparently didn’t have anything more to say about it at the time other than “Hey, this ridiculous line is in the trailer for some ridiculous movie about caves that are probably more dangerous than ridiculous.” I don’t remember what the movie was called or who was in it or what it was about aside from what could possibly go wrong diving in caves. If you remember the movie, then bully for you. If you know what could possibly go wrong diving in caves, then I’m sorry you saw the movie.
There’s an unformed thought I’ve had bouncing around in my head since I first tried out Siri on my 4S. I’d have liked to develop it into something more robust, but it’s a pretty simple idea so I’ll just leave it here.
You can’t say to Siri, “I guess I’d like to do something later like maybe a…