May 2009
19 posts
“Yo, open the door, bro!” shouted a voice from outside my window. There was a pause and then another shout.
“Open the door, man, I’m not fuckin’ around!”
Footsteps could be heard from upstairs. The door opened and closed, and thuds could be heard making their way down the stairs through the wall. The door to the outside opened.
“Beat the fuck out of...
Do you remember watching Conan’s last episode? They showed a bunch of clips from his past episodes. They all involved him, and they were all hilarious Conan moments. Jay Leno’s last episode? Apparently there were no funny Jay moments, so they showed a bunch of clips of Rodney Dangerfield’s standup and dumb people answering questions on the street. Thank God they’re...
The Kitty Caucus Is The Cutest
Outside of our hotel, my siblings and I witnessed something special. Ten cats were sitting outside, not moving, just staring at the wall of the hotel. Just staring. I tried to get a pic of it, but they ran away. It reminded my brother and me of Neil Gaiman’s A Dream Of A Thousand Cats. Tonight, the cat revolution began. Sure, we interrupted it, but soon the cats will rise again. And...
Two Sads And A Cute
So I know The Dance has been a bit off the norm the past few days. Don’t worry, I’m still funny. But, you know, blogs imitate life (or something like that) and it isn’t always great being a Joke Guy, so…
My Grandpa Mike passed away in the middle of the night several years ago. It was incredibly jarring and I miss him greatly, although it was not as physically,...
In my brief access to the internet, I wanted to share something real quick. My grandparents got in a horrible car accident last night and I’m now in Pennsylvania to be with my family. My grandfather is in okay shape, physically. My grandmother is currently in a coma and had to have her head shaved in order to perform surgery. When told that they needed to shave her head, my grandfather quietly...
The Curse Of The Moongician And Other Tales To...
Sorry, Dashboards. This is long…
The Mask Next Door
Everyone hates masks. At least, that’s what Warney thought. Warney was a bit on the hate side of most things, actually. So much so that he even hated people who hate masks.
“What a complex character we’re dealing with,” thought the narrator as he pat himself on the back. How wrong, he was, though. Warney was, in fact, so...
Whatever Happened To The Bears In The Sea
So this...
If The Radiopants Dance was Eyeonspringfield...
“Milhouse likes you!”
“Oh, please… Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast.”
WatchBein’ Good Is Good is finally up on Cracked. Welcome Cody to the internet by watching it there:
http://www.cracked.com/video_17357_every-dave-matthews-band-song-ever.html
Woot.
Mr. President Deals With Squirrel Rickets
“Mr. President, we’ve got to do something about this horrible squirrel rickets epidemic,” said Mr. President’s aide, Salma Talons. ”People are panicking and I, myself, am afraid that I might be coming down with a bad case of squirrel rickets.”
“That’s absurd, Salma,” Mr. President asserted. ”What do you know...
