January 2009
25 posts
December 2008
32 posts
The Big Big Meal
Going to Cleveland tonight. Should be fun (and funs). Happy New Year to you all. Chapter the First of The Big Big Meal can be found here. Chapter The Second: In Which Our Hero Wants A Refill The hatless man took another bite of his Crab Bang Boom. It was delicious when he received it and it was delicious when he took the bite mentioned in the sentence before this one. Unfortunately, it was...
Oh, yeah…
In 3 weeks, LOST season is upon...
The Horrors Of Facebook
A few days ago, I received a Facebook friend request from Tara Wallehoringer. I don’t know this person, but I clicked “accept” anyway. I pretty immediately found out that this Tara person was a 14-year-old girl. I cancelled our “friendship” and sent her a message. The following is a screenshot of the back and forth messaging that followed. I did not make this up,...
Dr. Mister Cody: Sleepless And Delirious, Pt. 2
I failed.
I want to kill myself.
Go to hell, Brady.
Goodnight soon, Cody.
Goodnight soon…
Dr. Mister Cody: Sleepless And Delirious, Pt. 1
So it has been a while since I have posted something, and there are several reasons for that. Partly it’s because I’m busy working on several projects at once. But more importantly, it’s the holidays, so kindly fuck off.
Moving on.
My good friend and former roommate (who we’ll call “Tom,” because that’s his name) joined the Peace Corps a year ago. ...
moms
Earlier today, I was with family at my brother’s house, you know, enjoying family. My sister decided to go back to her place and start preparing and all that. We would head over there a little later. As she walked out the door, my mom said “Bye, love you!” and then my sister left. The door closed, and a few seconds later my mom exclaimed, “Oh no! I forgot to say be...
It’s A Christmas Miracle, Vin!
(please enjoy...
President Bush Pardons Dead Hero. ... →
Very good, President Bush. You have pardoned someone posthumously, which completely doesn’t matter and now you look like you’re a “kind soul.” Please, news people, tell me something that affects the living, like the ONE HUNDRED NINETY other people he pardoned…
Local Student Can't Believe He Just Called Teacher...
In a truly unexpected moment during school, Freshman and now socially-doomed Freshman Alanore Breadslick accidentally called his third period English teacher ”Mommy.” The classroom instantly burst into laughter, and it wasn’t long after that that the punching began. It wasn’t long after that that the principal was called in for a quick chuckle. The teacher, Mrs. Hellens,...
“When here.”
– Anonymous Roman
5 Lazy Ways To Get Punched In The Face By A...
5 - Fall Asleep Mid-Conversation This tactic can take place at a large variety of locations and during many diverse situations. Maybe you’re at a job interview or you just brought table five their drinks. A first date is the perfect opportunity, though depending on your gender you may have to settle for simply getting slapped in the face, because I’m sexist and don’t think girls ever punch. ...
I just booked a reunion show for the...
If I Have A Blog Five Years From Now
Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. I’m super busy with the zombie epidemic. I assume no one’s even reading this (because of the zombie epidemic), but I find blogging therapeutic, especially during such an intense zombie epidemic.
That reminds me, this coming weekend will mark my final appearance on Zombie Night Live, mainly because a majority of the cast is now...
Improv Can Save Your [Job]
It was so incredibly easy to wake up today, because I knew instead of going to work, I was going to be doing some fun improv with fun people for fun students. Normally, I wait until the last minute, get ready, and begrudgingly go out the door. Today, though, I waited until almost the last minute, got ready, and happily went out the door. Following that was two hours of waking up coupled...
Dalliant Versus Doofund
As seen in Highlights For Groweds-Ups, here is the second most crudely-drawn comic ever. The first, of course, is Marmaduke.
Galactica Actual: Boomer’s Lament
Special...
The Big Big Meal
The Big Big Meal is a fake novel or “novella” or “dumb thing” I never planned to write. The first occurrence of this “dumb thing” was the very last sentence, which can be found here. Another excerpt is here and another here. For some reason, several people thoroughly enjoy these. So in the interest of pandering, here is Chapter 1 of The Big Big Meal. Chapter...
