October 2009
30 posts
The Curse Of The Moongician (And Other Tales To...
The Halloween That Was Actually Arbor Day
I also wrote this. Happy Halloween or whatever.
WatchSlutty Girls In Slutty Costumes
Here’s my Halloween video (or here). Maybe I spent too much time on it, but I’m pretty proud of every aspect of it (except maybe the recording quality). I feel like it acts as karma for all those people who didn’t watch LOST (or Battlestar Galactica) while I made all my videos/songs about LOST (and Battlestar Galactica). Although, I did manage to sneak in a...
Let's Talk About Porn At High School For A Second
No more than 6 years ago, if you were in high school, you could log onto the school’s computers and go to www.whitehouse.com. What you would find is porn (pictures of naked ladies at school). “www.whitehouse.gov” was the White House’s website. “.com” was porn. It’s just a bunch of ads for financial aid now. To all you high schoolers who frequent here...
Here’s a pirate joke for Halloween. For the...
Creepiest Middle School Note Ever →
I played this song once at an open mic a couple weeks ago. Then I made this video.
Suggested comment: Is there a box to check for “that sucked?”
The Curse Of The Moongician (And Other Tales To... →
The Undelivered Package
I’ve been posting a lot of old TTTRM on Dr. Mister Blog. I wanted to write a new one. Here’s a new one.
My former roommate and current friend Tom lives in Cincinnati right now. I haven’t seen or spoke to him in too long, but he left the following comment on that Balloon Boy piece:
Hey joke-boy, ya making them jokes? Yeeaahhh… jokes…the old laugh-laugh… Anyway does posting on this thing make me as dumb as the rest of these people? They seem really bitter
Tom fucking rules.
Every Joke The Internet Will Make About Balloon... →
When I did this I originally thought it was already too dated, but I keep seeing Balloon Boy jokes pop up. So here. Let’s get it over with.
New Job, Same Problem
I am at a coffee house/bar right now, enjoying some free wi-fi and some beer, writing jokes or whatever for my job writing jokes or whatever. I am surrounded by beautiful girls and their laptops. The below is not an actual conversation I have had yet, because pretty girls often scare me. I assume, though, that this is about how that conversation would go.
Me: Hi, I'm Cody, and I couldn't help but notice you're super cute.
Girl: Oh, yeah? What do you do?
Me: I write for a comedy website. Cracked.com.
Girl: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Me: It's this comedy website.
Girl: Right.
Me: But, like, not like the magazine. The magazine went under.
Girl: Okay.
Me: But there's still a website.
Girl: Neat.
Me: It's really popular, according to the site traffic.
Girl: It was nice meeting you.
Me: You too.
The End
Keeping Up With The Hoaxes
Tonight’s Episode: Balloon Boy Is On A Train
Balloon Boy’s Dad: My son is on that train!
Anyone Else: Really?
Balloon Boy’s Dad: Well…
Next Week on “Keeping Up With The Hoaxes”: Balloon Boy Is In A Cabin
Foul House: Hugs, Drugs, and Scandal On The Set Of...
Here’s something I wrote for Dr. Mister Blog. It’s got jokes about whatever or something.
Here are two suggested comments for your consideration, depending on your reaction to the piece…
“What the fuck is this supposed to be? Is it supposed to be funny because we watched Full House when we were kids? Well we did and it is.”
Or…
“More like FAIL...
WatchI feel like this supports the theory of evolution somehow…
Why Did That Paleontologist Have To Scare The Shit... →
Wrote this this morning for the ‘ol Dr. Mister Blog. I changed it into a list for Cracked, but not really.
They Might Be Giants, pretty much my favorite band ever for some reason, apparently just came out with a new album/DVD (buy it for me) that is only songs about science. It’s called “Here Comes Science” and it does not include any of the songs on their previous two children’s albums (they also make music for adults). I found some of the songs on YouTube, and they’re...
Tiger Woods Wins Nobel Prize For Golf →
How I Hacked Into Cracked.com
If you’ve been keeping up on the riveting comments section of Dr. Mister Blog, you might have noticed two things. There is a general consensus of 1) “Who is this ‘Cody’ person and why does he suck?” and 2) “Did someone hack into the site?” Both good questions.
On the first topic, I have been getting e-mails and messages along the lines of...
Texts
This is a series of joke texts I sent to a friend of mine while she was asleep late at night. I think they’re hilarious.
Fine, i won’t text you at all, just… Have a good night, okay? Please.
Look, i shouldn’t have sent that. I’m sorry. Just forget it, okay? Forget i did that.
I’m just worried about you, alright? Call it a crime if you want, but...
Idiots For Dummies
(just kidding)
Idiots For Dummies
Chapter 33
All good things must come to an end, just like when you die in the future and, upon reaching Heaven, God grants you the ability to think like a normal human being and you’re all “Oh, wow, there’s so much I didn’t understand when I was alive. If only I were smarter during that time of living, maybe I’d have learned something from that Idiots For Dummies book. To take this thought even...
WatchGame Helpin’ Squad: Burgers And Guns
Admittedly, this is my laziest one of these so far, but I still think the ending text qualifies as “funny.”
Suggested comment: I wish I didn’t watch this video. At fucking all.
Idiots For Dummies
Chapter 32
I am Chapter 18, Chapters 23 through 27, Chapter 29, Chapter 34, and I am also the last chapter.
Turn the page.
Idiots For Dummies
Chapter 31
There is no Chapter 34, but that doesn’t matter right now because you’re not there yet. What chapter are you on? What chapter is it, buddy? Just look at the number next to “chapter.” To help you along, “numbers” are things that don’t look like A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, W, Z, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u,...
Idiots For Dummies
Chapter 30
I wish I could have been surprised you thought there was a Chapter 29, let alone that it had dragons in it. There isn’t and it wouldn’t have.
