October 2008
19 posts
Happy Halloween Forever
You might not know this, but tomorrow-slash-today is Halloween. That means we’re going to for sure see at least two things:
1) A shit load of the “whore” version of real costumes. Whore Nurses, Whore Mummies, Whore Enterprise Crew Members, Whore Cops, and Whore Norbits. Take this Whore Taxi Driver, for example…
2) A shit load of Captain Jack Sparrows. For those of you who may not know,...
GALACTICA ACTUAL
Galactica Actual is a musical...
McDonald's Fries With No Salt Taken With Grain Of...
This past Monday, local McDonald’s fan Barry Colic ordered a medium fry from his favorite place: McDonald’s. He received them rather quickly and paid the kind but seemingly mentally unstable cashier. Upon inspection, he noticed his fries had absolutely no salt on them. He was not thrilled, but he ate them anyway. “McDonald’s fries are a trifecta of delicious,”...
College, Part 2: Classes of Graphs and Charts
So...
Tense Surplus
Greetings. Do you not had enough tenses in your life? Well, let me told you, here at Verb Emporium, we just did having too many tenses. Simple past, present, subjunctive… You had named it! Our surplus of tenses was mean we have been slashed our prices! Future perfect normally is cost nothing. But I’ll be only charge half that! Everything here! Half of free! I was practically...
Hello, Earth. Guess what? Aside from all this...
Cast and Creators of MADtv Unaware of Current...
This past Saturday, many cast and crew members of Fox’s MADtv were shocked when they stumbled upon a brand new episode of the apparently still-running sketch comedy show.
Around 11:25pm on Saturday, cast member Bobby Lee was getting ready to watch a new episode of Saturday Night Live when he began aimlessly flipping channels. “I ended up on FOX and saw that MADtv was on,”...
This is exactly what I’m talking about...
The Weirdest Blowjob in the World
I have moved around a lot throughout my life, but it has mostly been on the east coast and in the Midwest. Specifically, I’ve lived in South Carolina, Maine, and all around Ohio. I have only been on the west coast once, and it was definitely a blog-worthy experience.
I moved to LA for a week. I had just gotten out of a really bad marriage (in that I did it with an unhappy married woman)...
My computer will no longer turn on. Since I was planning on buying a new one anyway, I am going to take it as a sign from the God I don’t believe in that I should buy it sooner rather than later. So for the next day or so I will mostly be posting old videos/sketches and random paragraphs I write at work. I know that will be disappointing to literally threes of you, but I think...
My Life in 7 Random JPEGs
One thing I’ve learned in all my years living in Lebanon is that I was born in Lebanon. Specifically, it was a small town called Town Lebanon, Lebanon. It’s weird how, when you look back after so many years, everything is so much smaller than you remember. Take this map of Lebanon, for example. I mean, come on! What is this, a country of quarks? Quarks being particles that are really,...
New Product from Apple: The iPod Silent!
Be warned, folks. You are playing with fire (whether it’s Fire Theft; The Arcade Fire; or Earth, Wind & Fire).
Recently, the European Union has come out with yet another study showing that MP3 players are horrible for your hearing. If you listen for just 1 hour a day, five days a week, you are doing damage. If you do this every week for five years, the study shows that at least 1 out...
all work and more work makes work a work work
I work in the payroll department at a temp agency. Seventy-five percent of these temps are hispanic and the other twenty-five percent are liars. Of course, there is some overlap. This means that every day I get to see at least one new hilarious name. Here are some highlights: Duke Bunny, Diamond Cable, Goggy Napo, and Philander Goldtooth. For reals. Honestly, I only made up one of those.
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So I’d like to start posting songs of mine...
let's get this party started
Good Gods, I’m exhausted, and I blame everyone but me (you know who you are, everyone but me!). I’m already bored at work, so in the interest of having content up here other than an “I don’t like blogs, but here’s mine” post, I thought I’d post a little something more. I “found” this article “by” Jim Feathers yesterday in the...
So here we are...
Yup. I’m doin’ this. Even now, I’m typing and not sure if this is a good idea. It should be noted that I am completely turned off by 92% of the blogs out there, mainly because there are no porn blogs, but also because most blogs are either written by stupid people; riddled with links to other, better things; or just a way to talk about your friends in a really disjointed way...
